I'm currently on the island of Ko Tao, just off the east coast of Thailand, where for the past week I've been trying to drown any little currents of homesickness in a sea (no pun intended) of good food, sunshine, snorkeling, and sloth. So far I've been pretty damn successful. As far as any homesickness goes, though I've been on the road for 5 long months I think its the 3 ahead of me that will be the harder. For those of you who actually felt a pang of pity for me just then, I invite you to take a look at the pics attached to this mail to see if you still feel the same way. Any abuse you then feel for me can be hurled to the following address: [email protected]

The island is about 5km by 8km, hilly as hell, and covered in lush green foliage. I've been told that there are no poisonous snakes here, but that doesn't stop me from hoping. Pythons on the other hand... Any suggestions on how to get an exotic pet snake through US customs? And, no, I don't think swallowing it would be the best way, though it might be an ironic twist on a bad horror movie. Getting about on the primitive roads here requires a dirt motorcycle and national-level handling skills, but again, that doesn't stop me from doing it on my bike. (It also doesn't stop the locals from renting the m/c's out to us dumb falangs (foreigners) for $4 a day. They make their money not from the rentals, but from the prices they charge for replacement broken parts! Quite a different operating philosophy from their US counterparts...) I take my bike up and down every path they do, though usually with it on my shoulder - the trails, at least the steepest portions, consist of hardpack covered in pea gravel. This makes just walking a challenging proposition, let alone riding. The fastest way I've found is walk 2 feet, slide on your ass for 4, though I'm rapidly running out of peroxide, as a result. It does make for an interesting line to use on the beach, however: "Excuse me, could you rub some lotion on my...." I haven't gone down on my bike yet, but anticipate (though not excitedly, for some strange reason) doing so soon. In fact I'm gonna increase the odds a bit tonight and go get sloshed at a bar on the other side of the island before trying to ride my way back in the dark. If only the bar was a little closer... I realize that I TRIED to pick the most remote spot on the island to stay, but I was hoping it would have at least ONE night a week when people hit the bar en masse. I guess when the resident population of the beach totals 12 folks, the bar doesn't get so wild at night. Hence me being on the other side of the island for a change. But I hear the helicopter ride to the nearest hospital is wild!

If I could take my digital cam underwater to let you see what I see THERE, I would do it today. This place is amazing, even though you can see evidence all around of its been abused by the hand of man, whether intentionally or through simple tourism pressure and accidental mistakes. So many fish, so much coral, all the colors and activity. Though I've been diving once, I've seen the most and best stuff just snorkeling. Yesterday I took a cruise out to a little bay known for its shark presence in the afternoon (feeding time - how appropriate). After 20 minutes of drifting in 30 feet of water (10 minutes of that time was spent looking backwards nervously), I finally saw the first one materialize silently out of the gloom, as they always seem to do underwater, even though I'd kept straining my ears to hear the familiar da-dah! da-dah! musical notes that I just KNEW would accompany them. Ghostly and about 2-3 feet long, though the water magnifies them until they look, oh, about 11 ft at least, it totally ignored me. At least until I tried to swim in for a closer look. Then it suddenly turned on me, and in a flash of white teeth and swirling fins...aaahh!!! Naah, the sob's never would let me get close to them, though I saw, and chased, about 10 or 12 over the course of half an hour. These were little reef sharks, though you can occasionally see hammerheads there I hear. I did get much closer to the school of 20-30 barracuda later in the day, swimming about 3 feet over the top of them at one point. Someone once told me that they could be dangerous also, so I hid the bag of bloody meat I was carrying to attract the sharks behind my back, out of their sight. No problem.

While staying here, I (the Brit from America) met and have been hanging out with Marc (the Brit from Belgium), Rhian (the Brit from Hongkong), and Shay (the Brit from Ireland) and having a great time, though it did take me a while to get on top of Shay's STRONG Irish accent. Needless to say, I can now understand the frustration people have with having to say "What?" every time I speak too softly. And let no-one ever say that I'm too choosy about the company I keep - I'll hang out with Brits from ANYWHERE in the world. Though they all had their own interesting life-stories to tell, I've gotta admit Shay takes the cake. Anyone who runs off to join the French Foreign Legion at 16, but has the presence of mind to not take his passport with him so he can desert 3 months later with no hassles, is alright in my book. He says he can't return to France now, as a result - sounds like a small price to pay! Needless to say, these guys figure heavily in my reluctance to move on from here.

The weather is nonstop sunny though a 5 minute morning rainstorm today was quite welcome. I should have a picture by now to show off the tan, but I've been remiss in picture taking. I promise good ones soon. The food is excellent: fresh ingredients and tons of veg, cream of coconut soups, fresh seafood, lots of pasta. And my days are action packed: I spend hours planning ways to burn off all the calories by swimming, napping, reading, and sleeping. Today for instance, I spent 2 hours unlocking a coconut to get to the milk and meat inside (seriously - if you ever want to prevent a child getting into something dangerous, just put whatever it is inside a whole coconut. It beats the hell out of an aspirin bottle lid!). But you'd think by now I'd know better than to order a hamburger or spaghetti bolognese in these places. Unless its made with seafood, the meat lacks, how should I put it, any taste, pleasant texture, or other edible quality whatsoever. Maybe its sea cow or something. Whatever the reason, I use it only as a last resort, when I'm desperate for a change from the pasta, fresh veg, wonderful seafood.... wait, what am I saying?

Future plans? As in leaving this place? Hah! Further correspondance can be addressed to me as "Falang with the bike", c/o Coral View bungalows, Ko Tao Island, Thailand. I have some vague idea of heading south for a week, then training it north to Chang Mai and exploring the jungle for a week before crossing into Laos. Maybe if I get bored here...

Hope all is well. Yours brownly, Mark